Jayemerican

Long-distance relationships must have long-patience, if there is such a word. Different cultures interpret and receive the meaning of a word according to their own environment. Even with-in the same country or even city, there are sub-cultures, with their own way of talking and their own interpretation. When two people come together from different cultures, the same word can mean a million different things. If there is no room for understanding, or no desire to understand the others culture, then there will be no room for love. An eventually the infatuation dies out and the two people will find they have waisted there time. To communicate is not only talking but listening. Hearing and listening are not entirely the same. Hearing is recognizing sound, but listening is understanding what is being said. I would even venture to say that if each person in the relationship make their main focus understanding their partner, rather than trying to get to their partner to understand them. Communication would flow so much easier. How many times have we talked and not listened? It is so easy to feel, that the communication problem is with the other person, because its very seldom that we listen to ourselves or look in the mirror when we are communicating. But if someone could secretly get us on video and show us how we communicate we, no doubt, would be surprised. We even have a subculture in our own home, a language that we speak to our family. Have you ever gone to someone's home and it was loud...the people, the TV, the kids... people in the house seem to enjoy poking fun at one another and you thought this is different, very different from my home. If you haven't you should have come to my house when I was growing up. When I would go to a friends house and it was quiet, it was strange to me. No joking and laughing in the house meant that everyone was mad at each other, but not in my friends house, that's just how it was all the time. Same thing in love relationships, the perspective of happiness is different coming from each persons up bringing . Two people are always coming from a different place when they meet. Sometimes the farther away, the more pronounced the difference. I knew a couple, the man was from Nigeria and the woman was from USA. The communication sometimes is ruff, but love for each other can cause a couple work toward understanding the other. Manytimes, she was the first to assume he meant this or that and she'd get mad, for lack of understanding. There was one particular time she said something that, in his culture was highly disrespectful and she kept saying it over and over, and was clueless to what was going on in his mind. They had a disagreement and she perceived that he was angry with her. So she said, "I know you not mad." and he said, "What did you say?" She said, " You ARE mad." And he said, "I would never expect to here that from your lips baby. That hurts." Well it took her a while to realize that the word mad was the issue. Then she said, "Baby, mad means angry, the way I am using it." Now Americans use crazy and mad very loosely and meaning less. But in Africa they do not. She said she always say to someone that is acting silly, "you so crazy", but not to him. Even though he understands now, when she is around his family and in his country, she doesn't want to make a mistake and offend anyone. They laugh about it now, but they still have many language barriers that they have to workout. But they both agree is that they love each other enough to learn each other and that is communication at its best...Learning the person you are communicating with for more effective communication.